he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
