It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
COCAINE IS GR8
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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