it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
