I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize