I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
