i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
