hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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