Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
there was a trapeze. enough said
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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