and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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