I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize