the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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