lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
