That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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