I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
