you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
