Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
