Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
