Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize