We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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