After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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