we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
