we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are we still banned from the library?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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