this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
did i just pee glitter
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
