Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize