At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
