I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize