Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
