Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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