My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
