No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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