Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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