ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
