no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
