So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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