Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i dont even know how to be here
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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