So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
