Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
