i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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