i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
