no, he came in my armpit
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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