1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize