He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
