That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
