Do vagina's smell?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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