It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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