i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
