Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
