So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
