you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize