she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
