Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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