dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
