weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
