So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
