the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
