But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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