This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
