what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
