I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
