I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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