I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
