so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize