Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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