when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
