found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
