i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
