glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
