I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Found your dick twin last night
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
