I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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