Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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