I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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