She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
