is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
