That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
