thus making me awesome and them whores
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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