is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
