he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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